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Fic: Asymptote
Title: Asymptote
Fandom: Exo
Focus: Suho-centric
Genre: Gen, mild angst
Rating: G
Length: Oneshot (drabble), 200 words
Summary: Joonmyun's a leader, but he has his limits.
Prompts: Taken from seouldout's Round 6 Challenge Three:Author's Note: I honestly only used the picture prompt for this. :( Mostly because I have no experience being drunk, although I did think of ways I could have interpreted that differently. But anyway, yes. Picture prompt, which was of a dream-catcher this week! Honestly, for starting out with as good an analysis as I had this week, I just couldn't do justice to this prompt and that makes me pretty regretful :(
So. What does a dream-catcher mean. Obviously a dream-catcher... catches dreams. Haha, I actually had to go look up things about dream-catchers and I found a few interesting points! While a dream-catcher has protective qualities in that it filters good dreams from bad and allows the good ones to trail down to the sleeper's head, they are actually meant to dry out and break over time! Well, the wood and sinew they're made out of are supposed to, because the sleeper eventually has to learn to sleep without depending on them for good dreams. So that was my theme -- limited protection, protection with a limit.
Here, Joonmyun is worried about Exo's future. Since it takes place in 2011, this was before Exo debuted, but after they were put together as a group. Joonmyun, as the longest-running SM trainee, has seen what happens in SM. The breaking imagery of DBSK and Super Junior were deliberate so it'd match the breaking of the dream-catcher. Anyway, because of what happened with JYJ and Han Geng, the SM trainees had their contracts changed. Also, at the time of f(x)'s debut, it was assumed that SM's next boyband would be released in 2010. We -- and here, Joonmyun -- were wrong. Here he thought the new contract meant a closer debut + better conditions, but he was wrong on both counts.
Fast-forward to 2011, he's working with Yifan who hasn't taken on the name of Kris yet, the same way Joonmyun hasn't taken on the name Suho yet. They're going through the contracts because if there are too many differences -- specifically in the amount of money earned and the number of years someone is contracted to -- the group is more likely to be unstable and have tension. Too many differences, too many marks (the ink on Yifan's fingers) make Joonmyun nervous. That's why numbers are important -- cost and profit are driving factors in producing an idol group and Joonmyun knows that, and a difference in the numbers will ultimately hurt Exo.
The last two parts... focus on the protecting imagery. Suho means "Guardian" and Joonmyun wants to protect Exo -- for his sake, for the group's sake. But he has his limits, the way a nightlight and a dream-catcher (both protective images) would. There's only so much he could do. The asymptote in the title refers to these limits and to Joonmyun's aspirations at becoming someone like Shinhwa's Eric, who successfully kept his group together for 14 years after having to pretty much buy the group with his own money. Joonmyun doesn't ever see himself becoming like Eric, however much he'd like to, like in an asymptote, the line never meets a certain point. :(
And that's pretty much it. I didn't pull as much from the prompts this time, so I'll probably try to do an alternative drabble that does.
Fandom: Exo
Focus: Suho-centric
Genre: Gen, mild angst
Rating: G
Length: Oneshot (drabble), 200 words
Summary: Joonmyun's a leader, but he has his limits.
2009's a momentous year: DBSK cracks into two, Super Junior chips into fragments, SM debuts their last group for three years. Joonmyun watches with ridiculously misplaced hopes as his contract changes, most of the terms just prettily, precisely reworded.
It's not for the last time. By 2011 he's well-versed enough to comb through twelve contracts with Yifan one night, armed with pens and dictionaries -- Korean, Chinese, English, legal. The smallest differences are circled, cross-analyzed, counted. He doesn't know what numbers to look for, just that they should be the same. Numbers determine debuts and disbandments.
"Is it really important?" Yifan asks, rubbing his eyes with ink-smeared fingers. Joonmyun stares at them despairingly. A group split down the middle -- strained by distance, differences, dreams -- is a bad enough start. How can they protect Exo if the odds are already against them?
But then, that's his job. Being leader's more than a label, and "I'm Exo's Guardian" actually means something.
A nightlight's batteries die out eventually though, dream-catchers dry up over time -- Joonmyun is just as aware of his own limits. He'd like to be an Eric, but it'd be a miracle if he could just be Suho.
It's not for the last time. By 2011 he's well-versed enough to comb through twelve contracts with Yifan one night, armed with pens and dictionaries -- Korean, Chinese, English, legal. The smallest differences are circled, cross-analyzed, counted. He doesn't know what numbers to look for, just that they should be the same. Numbers determine debuts and disbandments.
"Is it really important?" Yifan asks, rubbing his eyes with ink-smeared fingers. Joonmyun stares at them despairingly. A group split down the middle -- strained by distance, differences, dreams -- is a bad enough start. How can they protect Exo if the odds are already against them?
But then, that's his job. Being leader's more than a label, and "I'm Exo's Guardian" actually means something.
A nightlight's batteries die out eventually though, dream-catchers dry up over time -- Joonmyun is just as aware of his own limits. He'd like to be an Eric, but it'd be a miracle if he could just be Suho.
Prompts: Taken from seouldout's Round 6 Challenge Three:Author's Note: I honestly only used the picture prompt for this. :( Mostly because I have no experience being drunk, although I did think of ways I could have interpreted that differently. But anyway, yes. Picture prompt, which was of a dream-catcher this week! Honestly, for starting out with as good an analysis as I had this week, I just couldn't do justice to this prompt and that makes me pretty regretful :(
So. What does a dream-catcher mean. Obviously a dream-catcher... catches dreams. Haha, I actually had to go look up things about dream-catchers and I found a few interesting points! While a dream-catcher has protective qualities in that it filters good dreams from bad and allows the good ones to trail down to the sleeper's head, they are actually meant to dry out and break over time! Well, the wood and sinew they're made out of are supposed to, because the sleeper eventually has to learn to sleep without depending on them for good dreams. So that was my theme -- limited protection, protection with a limit.
Here, Joonmyun is worried about Exo's future. Since it takes place in 2011, this was before Exo debuted, but after they were put together as a group. Joonmyun, as the longest-running SM trainee, has seen what happens in SM. The breaking imagery of DBSK and Super Junior were deliberate so it'd match the breaking of the dream-catcher. Anyway, because of what happened with JYJ and Han Geng, the SM trainees had their contracts changed. Also, at the time of f(x)'s debut, it was assumed that SM's next boyband would be released in 2010. We -- and here, Joonmyun -- were wrong. Here he thought the new contract meant a closer debut + better conditions, but he was wrong on both counts.
Fast-forward to 2011, he's working with Yifan who hasn't taken on the name of Kris yet, the same way Joonmyun hasn't taken on the name Suho yet. They're going through the contracts because if there are too many differences -- specifically in the amount of money earned and the number of years someone is contracted to -- the group is more likely to be unstable and have tension. Too many differences, too many marks (the ink on Yifan's fingers) make Joonmyun nervous. That's why numbers are important -- cost and profit are driving factors in producing an idol group and Joonmyun knows that, and a difference in the numbers will ultimately hurt Exo.
The last two parts... focus on the protecting imagery. Suho means "Guardian" and Joonmyun wants to protect Exo -- for his sake, for the group's sake. But he has his limits, the way a nightlight and a dream-catcher (both protective images) would. There's only so much he could do. The asymptote in the title refers to these limits and to Joonmyun's aspirations at becoming someone like Shinhwa's Eric, who successfully kept his group together for 14 years after having to pretty much buy the group with his own money. Joonmyun doesn't ever see himself becoming like Eric, however much he'd like to, like in an asymptote, the line never meets a certain point. :(
And that's pretty much it. I didn't pull as much from the prompts this time, so I'll probably try to do an alternative drabble that does.
no subject
I spontaneously want the first sentence to have a third point. Idk if I should listen to this voice saying this or not, but I somehow want there to be something more, like; Super junior chips into fragments, _________, and SM debuts their last groups for three years. Either that, or you combine the first two sentences, as in; …, SM debuts their last group for three years and Joonmyun watches… (then again, nobody likes long sentences as much as I do). I like the first paragraph, the opening sentence is strong, but I feel that it would flow better with either of these two alternatives. Possibly just a personal preference on my part tho.
Also I feel that the second sentence sort of contradicts itself. “ridiculously misplaced” is a strong expression and it sort of clashes with “most of the terms just prettily, precisely reworded” which indicates a very small change. Idk, this contrast could be a good thing. But if I were you I would rather have separated those two sentences; left the “joonmyun watches” part with the first sentence as I mentioned above and then let “As terms are prettily, precisely reworded.” (or something) sit on its own. (possibly reword that second part about the terms entirely? Idk I can’t rly come to terms
(hoho)with it. It’s a nice expression but I can’t rly make it fit in the paragraph.)I rly like the second paragraph. It’s strong and stable, sits just right. (maybe “counted” should sit before “cross-analyzed” tho.) The third paragraph works as well, except I don’t rly like “despairingly”. I have learnt to be careful with adverbs, they very easily sound awkward and this one does. I also often find adverbs unnecessary, they tend to say too much. Try to figure out whether it’s rly necessary to point out that Suho stares despairingly, and if there could be another way to show it?
I’m also sort of not chummy with the last sentence in the third paragraph. I think asking rhetorical questions like that often spells things out to your reader, and can sound sort of formal & dramatic. On the other hand, it sounds sincere in ways that I like, so idk. Furthermore re; “being leader’s”, lol I assume this was partially a wordcount issue, but I rly would have wanted it to be “being a leader is” instead. Also I might have skipped “though” after “eventually”, it doesn’t sound entirely good to me and I’m not sure it actually needs to be there.
After reading your notes, I feel torn. The first time I read this drabble, I liked it. It’s good, and it has an energy and a tension of sorts that makes it interesting. But I could not tell what prompt you had used, and I actually thought you had mentioned dream-catchers just as an attempt to include that prompt. I like the “protection”-take on the dream-catcher prompt, but for some reason I can’t connect it with the actual drabble. I think my problem with it might lie mainly in the actual mention of dream-catchers. I think, in a piece like this, maybe you simply have to leave your prompt behind and not explicitly point it out to your reader. The drabble works so well on its own, so maybe it’s not important what the inspiration was? Maybe we don’t need to understand that it is about dream-catchers? As usual, your ideas and metaphors are lovely, but I think you could benefit from not being so… deadpan about them lol. (That being said, ik I earlier said that you should be more explicit, so. Idk, I’m sorry for being inconsistent lol but then again different pieces have different strengths & different issues.)
Still, re; “I didn't pull as much from the prompts this time,” - I think this might be one of the definite strengths of this drabble. It follows one clear line, doesn’t skip off into a bunch of other topics, and that makes it stable and, idk, it feels safe to read? Like I trust it to pull itself off. (I still think there’s a lot going on in your notes so it does feel you pulled quite a bit from it after all.)
Overall I like this drabble a lot. I can really feel joonmyun’s sort of controlled desperation in it. It carries an air of dejection but still somehow feels optimistic, “this is hard but we’re gonna pull through, we’re gonna make this work”, preparing oneself before a battle, that kind of feeling. As I said, it has a subtle energy of sorts that pulls me in.
no subject
((and thank you for writing this!))
no subject
And don't worry about not giving crit like the person above, she's a friend and she wanted to practice giving crit just as much as I wanted to practice writing. A learning experience of sorts lol. That's another reason for the long a/n, this was a part of a series of challenge drabbles with a max word count and a deadline so every single word was carefully chosen. The long a/n acts as a reminder or a time-stamp of what I was thinking as I wrote this and also provides a clearer picture of what I meant to depict vs what I managed, so I could see for myself where I was lacking and where I need to improve. I hope it wasn't a bother to you while reading this lol.
(Also, I'm naturally quite wordy, as you can tell by this reply /o\)
But anyway, I'm glad you found this and I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for dropping by :3
no subject
i'm actually new to dreamwidth so i was exploring a bit to see if i can discover some exo fics here, especially those that weren't posted (yet) at lj c: the search results showed a lot of accounts, but majority of them weren't updated... but i see that you're active here, so that led me to check out your journal and i'm amazed at the stuff that you wrote ;o;
and to be very honest, i literally feed on drabbles ;~~; and i like a lot of what you have written in this journal so far ;u; i'll also check out your other short (or long) fics and try to leave comments when i have the time! (if you don't mind? ;~~;)
and oh, don't worry about being wordy, i can understand that because you're naturally a writer c:
no subject
And feel free to comment wherever and whenever! I honestly don't mind at all, hopefully my stuff is something you can enjoy (although you'll have to go through some massive a/n's again, so head's up lol).
Ah, you're such a cutie! lol I hope you enjoy yourself :3