Even when you're being nice, this was still hard to read because I kept prepping myself for the worst lmao, I warned you about my thin skin :P lol but I'm glad you liked it! For some reason I've found that the pieces I exhibit the least control over on the ones that come across better, because I remember at the time I felt so uneasy about posting this. I'm glad that re-reads helped though ;; Re-read factors are always near and dear to my heart lmao
The reason for my shorter syntax during Suho's dream is probably from the influence of listening to a rap song all week while I was thinking of this tbh? lmao that staccato beat, the short bursts of lines that build up on each other made me think about walking in the darkness, taking short but brief steps? Like you're walking in the darkness, unsure if you're being followed, so your steps fall quicker and in that sense desperation can be built as well? So I wanted to emulate that with fragmented statements I think, but I'm still not sure if it worked out for the better. I think your approach was probably more appropriate for a dream though, more flowy and lingering. Kind of like a shadow stretching before Suho. I'll definitely keep that in mind, because I have a piece about dreams I'm working on and that's definitely something I'll want to include in it!
And I agree again (I find myself agree a lot, lol) that the prompts for this particular week meshed a lot better than the previous week's. I'm glad for that :3
I think this was written before we got more of the accounts of Suho being trolly off-cam surfaced, so I've always been worried about my characterization of him. I think that shows up in my next piece, about numbers and leadership and stuff so I'll worry about that when you get to it, but leaders have always been interesting but difficult to me lol. I'm glad this interpretation seemed to have worked for you, in addition to the ending lines. Breathing imagery has always had the meaning of "moving on, regardless" to me personally, so it was important that I had that image of Suho taking that readying breath, without dipping into the connotations of exhalation. And the Vonnegut line /o\ I was so unsure about that, but I'm glad it worked for you. I'm always iffy about allusions because there's always the off-chance that it might not be picked up on, but it really captured the sentiment of what I wanted Suho to be going through at that moment. e__e
You're right on the mask point. Looking back, I can see how I could have completely removed "the mask" and given myself two extra words because the smile could have easily covered for it. So that's something to consider. Unfortunately, I still had a thing for masks by the end of seouldout, so you'll be seeing it again in a later drabble and I was not at all satisfied by it there either. :( Just a warning lmao
Thanks again for going over these, it's nice to think about them again and rediscover what I was thinking exactly as I wrote these out lol. A real adventure, even if I want to headdesk at all of my mistakes lol
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The reason for my shorter syntax during Suho's dream is probably from the influence of listening to a rap song all week while I was thinking of this tbh? lmao that staccato beat, the short bursts of lines that build up on each other made me think about walking in the darkness, taking short but brief steps? Like you're walking in the darkness, unsure if you're being followed, so your steps fall quicker and in that sense desperation can be built as well? So I wanted to emulate that with fragmented statements I think, but I'm still not sure if it worked out for the better. I think your approach was probably more appropriate for a dream though, more flowy and lingering. Kind of like a shadow stretching before Suho. I'll definitely keep that in mind, because I have a piece about dreams I'm working on and that's definitely something I'll want to include in it!
And I agree again (I find myself agree a lot, lol) that the prompts for this particular week meshed a lot better than the previous week's. I'm glad for that :3
I think this was written before we got more of the accounts of Suho being trolly off-cam surfaced, so I've always been worried about my characterization of him. I think that shows up in my next piece, about numbers and leadership and stuff so I'll worry about that when you get to it, but leaders have always been interesting but difficult to me lol. I'm glad this interpretation seemed to have worked for you, in addition to the ending lines. Breathing imagery has always had the meaning of "moving on, regardless" to me personally, so it was important that I had that image of Suho taking that readying breath, without dipping into the connotations of exhalation. And the Vonnegut line /o\ I was so unsure about that, but I'm glad it worked for you. I'm always iffy about allusions because there's always the off-chance that it might not be picked up on, but it really captured the sentiment of what I wanted Suho to be going through at that moment. e__e
You're right on the mask point. Looking back, I can see how I could have completely removed "the mask" and given myself two extra words because the smile could have easily covered for it. So that's something to consider. Unfortunately, I still had a thing for masks by the end of seouldout, so you'll be seeing it again in a later drabble and I was not at all satisfied by it there either. :( Just a warning lmao
Thanks again for going over these, it's nice to think about them again and rediscover what I was thinking exactly as I wrote these out lol. A real adventure, even if I want to headdesk at all of my mistakes lol